I've never believed in horoscopes - or that the placement of the stars has much to say about my personal life. For one - it never explained how twins - who sometimes have completely opposite personalities, could be grouped under the same personal destiny. It never explained, how someone who has the same birthday as I have - could possibly be in another place in life as I am. Tom Waits (who has the same birthday as I) should simply not be making so much money!
Seriously - the Zodiac is completely lost on me.
I'm going through a busy time - with lots of important decisions to make... and tonight, I sat down to take a breather with my favorite magazine, Vanity Fair - because Dominic Dunne always has something interesting to say about interesting people I'd rather read about than meet. Flipping through, I stopped short at Michael Lutin's "Planetarium" Horoscope Column.
I read the entry under "Libra," thinking that maybe just maybe, it may have something to say to me. (Note, I'm not a Libra.) It did. I read on. Every sign from the great archer to the quizzical twins had something pertinent to say about my life. I realize this makes me a pan-horoscopist, but come on - Shouldn't I take comfort in whatever place comfort is to be found?
Libra while we're on the subject, insists: "Not everyone is like you... Don't take it personally." - I don't believe Ben Franklin could've given me better advice at this juncture.
Cancer offers me this wisdom: "Your omnipresent feelings of responsibility towards others, which stem as much from guilt as from generosity, make it easy for people to play on your conscience." - Story of my life!
Leo says, "The wounded people you're dealing with are capable of only so much - you may have better luck motivating them if you encourage them instead of just beating them up..." - So I should be encouraging myself rather than... beat...ing... my - self - up... oh.
Virgo encourages, "Hey, everybody gets hit with challenges at one time or another. Denial doesn't help, but neither does making a big deal out of problems that won't last forever..." - Wow. I wonder if Dr. Phil said this first...
Scorpio? - "Professionally speaking, this month is critical - so for God's sake, keep your personal life out of your business life..." Amen, I say - and thanks, Scorpio!
Sagittarius: "You must have an angel watching over you. How else could you manage not to crumble under the weight of the grand cross now spanning your 3rd, 6th, 9th, and 12th houses?" - Where I appreciate the sentiment, I can't help wonder what the address of my 12th house is.
Capricorn, my steady confidante, says: "You are feeling passionate at the moment and if your needs aren't being met, you're likely to go on the warpath..." Why yes, I feel a battle waging...
At the dawning of the Age of Aquarious, I learned "luckily, there are people who demand that you keep on dancing, no matter how crummy you feel" - May I have this dance? Please?
Meanwhile, Pisces, smelling something fishy, suggests a piece of irony worth saving: "When you look around and see the madness so many people get caught up in, you make a concerted effort to follow your own path, ignore 'practical' advice you consider stupid, and do what you know to be right..." - Nuff said.
Aries observed that "Only your closest intimates will know not only that you don't like being onstage but that half the time you're on the verge of bursting into tears." - That has NEVER been more true than this week.
Taurus, always the practical one, says, "Guess what? There's a great big wave coming toward you, and sooner or later you are just going to have to move your blanket farther up the beach." I'm going, I'm going!
Finally, Gemini - my yin and yang - notes, "Communication is the key. You've simply got to endure a few very serious conversations, which does not mean going from barking and shouting to complete silence." - That's so freakily close to home...
I ask you - Why subscribe to only one house, when I can fall at the feet of my new muse, Michael Lutin? Shouldn't I be able to have it all?
Labels: Kell's Lists