Drive Me Crazy

I was driving my nephew home after he spent the weekend at my house. He is one of those 13-year olds who will never agree with anyone - because he desperately needs and wants to feel smart - perhaps even superior:

Nephew: Women can't drive. They're terrible drivers.
Kellincatty: I'm driving now - Do yo feel unsafe? I mean, that's a pretty broad statement you're making...
Nephew: It's true.
Kellincatty: How can you say that? I mean, you're making a very broad statement.
Nephew: No...
Kellincatty: Know who the worst driver I've ever come across is? The one I refuse to ever get in a car with when he's driving?
Nephew: Who?
Kellincatty: Your father. He's a guy. Not a girl.

It's true. The last time I got in the car with my ridiculous former brother-in-law, I honestly thought I was going to die. He wouldn't pay attention. Five seconds after I gave a "turn right here" direction, he'd continue going straight. If I said 'Take the next exit,' he'd keep going... It was miserable, and I'm tired of it. The next time I had to transport myself and him, I told him I was driving... He kept saying, 'I can drive....'

It just wasn't true.

This week, I was told I couldn't drive a transport van (my van, mind you) to pick up some friends at the airport, because someone "would feel safer if it was a guy."

What?

Then came the post script: But can we still use your van?

Granted, the one who would feel safer if a man drove to the airport backpedalled a little and said "Hey - I was just thinking that a woman driving to JFK at night wouldn't be as safe as a man driving to JFK at night..." (But can I still use your van)

Hey - for all you toads out there, I just want you to know that I haven't had (knock on wood) a vehicular accident in well over 20 years... I've caused no incidents, I've created no problems, I don't drive drunk... My insurance is really inexpensive because 1) I've taken good enough care of my car that I've had it for over 10 years... and 2) because my driving record is really really good.

And for you scoffers who want to note the crack in my bumper, feed on this: My husband borrowed the car - and backed into a dumpster on his way home one night. I wasn't even in the car - let alone the driver.

You boys with your convoluted ideas? You drive me crazy.... I arrive at "crazy" safely and in one piece... but I'm at crazy nonetheless.