Kelly In Catty

This blog is Kell's attempt to keep in touch with friends far away who complain that I don't e-mail nearly enough.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Love Notes

I got not one love note e-mail today, but TWO.

The first was from a co-worker. I handled something for her today - and it made her life easier... So she loves me.

The second came from my husband. He e-mailed me "I Love You" simply because I moved "Letters from Iwo Jima" to the top of my Blockbuster Online Queue.

Yeah. That's why I'm loved.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Forget Me Not

I used to work for a video production company that also owned a broadcast news station. Now, this was an independent UHF station (yes, they still exist) - not a network. It operated as a channel on the various cable outlets in my area (and there are a surprising number of them where I live - and in the surrounding vacinity).

The news department had recently launched a new newscast specifically geared toward a neighboring municipality, and were taking any opportunities to do 'meet and greets,' expo's - and whatever. They wanted exposure.

One afternoon, they approached me, explaining, "Kell, the news dept. is short staffed. Would you mind standing at the station's table at the (other town) mall?" I agreed to do it. They gave me new postcards with all the news personalities and sent me to the mall - an hour or so away from the main station building.

I stood for awhile, smiling, greeting shoppers and handing out postcards. Soon, an elderly gentleman approached, asking what local cable outlets the newscast could be seen on...

I was flummoxed. I had no idea what cable outlets even existed in that nether-region. "Uh..." I stammered, "I don't really know."

He leaned closer. "Well, that's a problem, isn't it? How is it possible that they sent you out here without that pertinent bit of information? How is it even possible that you're standing here, advertising for a station - and you can't tell anyone how to watch it?"

I'll admit, the 25 year old Ms. Kellincatty was quite annoyed at his gutsiness. Who did he think he was? I was volunteering my precious time - after all - couldn't he merely appreciate that, go home, look up the cable information on his time?

But you know what? He was right. ABSOLUTELY right... I had no right going there to represent anyone without knowing the facts. (I never actually bothered to even flip over the postcard - which had all the pertinent information listed neatly there on the back... But that's another story for another ignorant day.)

OK. So recently, I've come across two equal marketing disasters:

1) I was at my new town's summer "It Gathering," The Emmaus Farmer's Market (BTW, Emmaus, PA was recently named the 87th best place to live in by Money Magazine... How bout them apples from the Emmaus Farmers' Market??!!!) - Anyway, there's always a booth sponsored by the township. It's usually there to promote upcoming events.

Well, this week's event was a local arts show. Hey - I'm interested in local art, so I approached the booth and asked for a brochure:

"I'm sorry - we only give brochures out to people who buy tickets."

"Well, how would I know if I want to buy a ticket unless I can see if I'm actually interested in your event?"

"You can check out our website."

The girl then proceeded to spell out a web URL for me - a URL that I knew I'd never be able to remember - let alone look up... I was annoyed. Immediately I remembered the Man at the Mall, decided I wouldn't publicly humiliate anyone who lived in the 87th best place to live in America, and moved on.

I never looked up the event, never bought a ticket, and never actually saw any local art, either. Kind of a shame, I think.

The other day, Dave and I tried a local cafe. It was cute, located in a great place, had reasonable prices, and tasty food. This is the kind of cafe I dream of - as one who has recently suffered a meal at the swankiest new restaurant in town - Great atmosphere... nice staff... and food with absolutely NO TASTE whatsoever. As I paid my check, I asked for a catering menu.

"We don't have paper catering menus. If you want one, e-mail us, and we'll e-mail it back to you...."

So now - not only do I not have local art - but I also have to remember to e-mail the cafe down the road to get a catering menu? This is a missed marketing opportunity.

I'm not sure if local companies realize that while yes, they're saving a tree (even though recycled paper is a great receptacle for catering menus) - they're missing out on a clean revenue stream?

Somewhere, somehow, if the swanky, tasteless restaurants can brag of overflowing customers every night - those with an actual good product should be able to do the same... easily. They don't because they don't put the same care into their image... And the possibility that one day, I'll be scrounging around my drawer of take out menus, come across theirs, remember what a lovely breakfast I had there, and order lunch for my new swanky clients - The ones who watch cable, buy art, and appreciate good food.

Monday, July 23, 2007


The funniest line in the New Harry Potter Book? "Nuttier than Squirrel Poo."

Jo Rowling said "Poo."

I Blame Technology

If you looked at my calendar, you might notice just a few holes in it - where nothing's written... It's not that I don't have a full dance card - it's just that I got a new PDA (because it's going to make me more organized... tee hee) - and before I realized it won't easily synch up with my Outlook Calendar, I made the mistake of writing appointments into it. Appointments that I never got synched to my Outlook Calendar... Which is why I had to write the following apology after I asked a friend "Did I miss Dinner?" You see, he and his wife wanted to take me and my husband out to celebrate the wedding:

Anyway, the e-mail went like this:

"Jim, I am so sorry - this never got on my calendar... And unfortunately I know why. After our conversation about how much PDA's have helped you, I went out and bought one. I put our dinner date on the PDA - right before I realized it won't synch up to my Outlook, as it promised to...

Anyway, on the date of our dinner, I have to go to Jenny's wedding - so don't be mad - but would you mind if we rescheduled?"

He called, laughed, said the same thing had happened to him (I think he was being nice) - and we will reschedule... But honestly? If I could just get it together, I wouldn't have to take twice the time it took to schedule to un-schedule...

I swear one day I'm going to forget an appointment (Oh, I've done that...) or forget a Birthday (I've always kind of thought the belated birthday cards were funnier than the smug and organized cards.)... But miss free dinner?

sigh. I'm such a dope. And maybe? If technology were more intuitive, it would be a little nicer to me.

Saturday, July 21, 2007


I went to college in Grand Rapids, Michigan. There, I met a family who took in helpless out-of-state college students. We became fast friends... To the point that when their daughter's grandparents couldn't make it to Grandparents' day at her school, she asked if I would go: Do not. I repeat: Do NOT laugh at the 14 thousand pounds of hair I sported back then... (1991) - or the glasses that seemed to cover my entire face - like safety goggles...
Anyway, since then, Cara and her mom, Jane, and I have visited fairly frequently. Here they are at my house... Cara was all snotty and 16... You know how it is:
Once, Cara even let me dye her hair - I was trying to do red streaks - but I didn't get the foils to the roots - so it was really ugly and I felt badly - and for Cara's sake, I will not show you - but I will show you this:
Ok - so you can understand why there were tears in my eyes - when a couple of weeks ago, my little Cara-Beara got married. Here are the photos. We had a good time:
Cara (while I'm sticking my camera between her arm and the mirror): Kelly, get out of here!
Kelly (showing Cara the digi-file): Shut up. You do your job - Let me do mine.
Cara (approving the photo): Oh!This is Justin, Cara's brother. He got married to this lovely woman around the same time I married this very dashing man: Ok - so here's the lovely couple. Gareth, the groom, is from New Zealand - and I'm told hates to be called a Kiwi - so I'll refrain. Note his custom jacket - dubbed "the Formal Hoodie" by me - designed by a friend of his - who will soon be outfitting all of Hollywood's elite.Now - Note the nice rings... At one point, during photography, Gareth excuses himself to the men's room - only to emerge complely abashed... "Dave," he said, "Can I see you in the Men's room?" I looked quizically at my husband, who without question - followed Gareth. We thought it was odd, but Cara and I kept shooting: What happed? Gareth accidentally dropped his lovely titanium ring into the trash... And Dave gallantly fished it out. Incidentally, this photo was taken pre-incident!!!!This photo was taken after - Ha ha! Seriously - I don't know. I don't really want to think about it - truth be told:
I will admit - I'm a self-indulgent wedding photographer - so I took the couple here: To this sculpture at Calvin College, designed by my friend and former photography professor, Robin Jensen. Who wouldn't want their photo taken here? ReallY?Here's the happy mother of the groom:
More photos - Pre-trash... SORRY! I can't get it out of my head! I'm dying here!!!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

For Ms. Amy Elise

Friday, July 06, 2007

It Was Trixie's Idea

Trixie posts on her blog to type your birth month and birth day into Wikipedia. - and then list the following. I read and obey:

My birthday is December 7th.

3 Events:

1787 - Delaware becomes the first state to ratify the US Constitution.
1917 - World War I: The US declares war on Austria-Hungary.
1941 - World War II: Attack On Pearl Harbor - The Imperial Japanese Navy attacks the US Pacific Fleet and its defending Army Air Forces and Marine air forces at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.

I'm listing a couple more - for the bonus Features Section of Kellincatty.

1972 - Apollo 17, the last Apollo moon mission, is launched. The crew take the photograph known as "The Blue Marble" as they leave the Earth.
1988 - Yasser Arafat recognizes the right of Israel to exist.

2 Births:

1956 - Larry Bird, American basketball player
1970 - Carmen Campuzano, Mexican actress and fashion model. You'll notice that 1970 was the year I was born in... Now you know what happens to fashion models inducted into the Witness Protection Program... (tee hee)

Bonus Births:

1949 - Tom Waits, American singer, composer, and actor
1973 - Terrell Owens, American football player = How silly!
2003 - Princess Catharina-Amalia of the Netherlands

1 Holiday:

Pearl Harbor Day. I can't forget this - because for the first 20 years of my life, on December 7, my father would either wake me up or call me to sing "Remember Pearl Harbor!"

Bonus Holiday: In Columbia, they celebrate Día de las Velitas - a Day of Candles.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

"Nothing:" Code Word for "Boobs"

Dave and I have this ongoing conversation - that goes something like this:

Kell: What are you thinking about?
Dave: Nothing.
Kell: What do you mean, nothing? Do you really mean that your mind is thinking of nothing - no thoughts - no pictures - no mental conversations?
Dave: Nope. Nothing. Don't you ever think of nothing?
Kell: Nope. My mind is always spinning.

Well, today, My friend Mark and Dave and I were having breakfast together, and the same topic was discussed:

Dave: Kelly can't fathom that guys can sit around and think of nothing.
Mark: We can.
Kell: I just can't believe it. No one can think of nothing.
Mark: Well, honestly? We're really thinking about boobs.
(Dave smiles and nods)
Kell: Boobs? Whose boobs?
Dave: Only yours honey. There are only two boobs in this world...
Kell: Yeah. And I'm having breakfast with them right now.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Kell's List of Lyrics

I'm having an intense desire to send y'all a new list - so here are my some of my favorite lines of some great songs (in no particular order):

1) In the place my wonder comes from - there, you will find me (Bruce Cockburn, Love Song)

2) Like a vision she dances across the porch as the radio plays... (Bruce Springsteen, Thunder Road)

3) Redemption comes like sunrise to wake you from your sleep - for the Night won't last forever (Charlie Peacock - The Night Won't Last Forever)

4) I am the 4th of July - I'm throwing you a fire in the sky - You could go blind in my light - but you were looking for an orchid, and I will always be a dandelion...(Antje Duvekot - Dandelion)

5) I watch this woman in a tight sequined lizard dress - Tosses her scarlet hair like a sly caress... She got midnight voice like some beckoning saint - She got something special but you she ain't - See how I miss you (Bruce Cockburn - See How I Miss You)

6) All the diamonds in the world that mean anything to me - are conjured up by wind and sunlight sparkling on the sea...
(Bruce Cockburn - All the Diamonds in The World)

7) I guess I should have known by the way she parked her car sideways that it wouldn't last (Prince - Little Red Corvette)

8) Sittin' here wishing on the cement floor - Just wishing that I had something you wore..." (Pixies - Cactus)

9) I wear my shadows where they're harder to see - I guess that means I'm travelling toward the light (Bruce Cockburn - Birmingham Shadows)

10) You wave your hand and they scatter like crows - you know they've nothing that will ever capture your heart... They are just thorns without the rose - be careful of them in the dark (Tom Waits - Downtown Train)

11) It's colder than a well digger's ass (Tom Waits - I just put this in here for Fran)

12) Go on up to the mountain of mercy - to the crimson perpetual tide. Kneel down on the shore, be thirsty no more - go under and be purified. (The Choir -Beautiful Scandalous Night)

13) I'm so in love with you it's humbling - have mercy - have mercy on me" (Jan Krist - Mercy)

14) Of all my demon spirits I need you the most - I'm in love with your ghost (Indigo Girls - Ghost)

15) Love is not a victory march - it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah (I've been corrected. I said Jeff Buckley - but it's really Leonard Cohen. Thanks! - Hallelujah)

16) Let us be lovers - we'll marry our fortunes together. I've got some real estate here in my bag! (Simon & Garfunkel - America)


About a month before we got married, Dave and I started Pre-Marital Counseling... I know I've talked a little bit about that - and about the personality test we took... But what I didn't tell you is that we didn't have time to finish the counseling before the wedding - so we settled in for a date of post-pre-marital counseling last Thursday.

We arrived, chatted with the counselor about the personality test for about ten minutes. He asked us how marriage was going - if we came up to any snags at all. We chatted about one particular issue that Dave and I "revisit" occasionally (I wouldn't call it arguing, per se, but revising is a good term) - then we talked about music, instruments, and where the counselor could go to get his mandolin fixed... And then... then the counselor said this: "Well, You guys seem like a great couple... If you find you have some issues in the future, please do not hesitate to give me a call - but I don't need to see you any more.


I mean, I know we're a good couple - no, we really are a great couple - but if I'm not mistaken, but who gets booted from pre-marital counseling after two and a half sessions? Doesn't he realize that even without getting into Dave's history, that I am fraught with inner conflict, bossiness, and desperately need answers?

Or maybe... Just maybe we've got it all figured out. In that case, I'm writing a book, "Stumbling Along In The Perfect Marriage" with Kelly and Dave, self actualized heroes of relationships, communication, and all good things.

Eat your heart out, Dr. Phil!