Fun With Names

I got this from Sarabeth: Here goes:

Name Game
1.Your rock star name (first pet, current car
Inky Coupe

2.Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe)
Peanut Butter Haan

3.Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal)
Lilac Armadillo

4.Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born)
Lynn Port-Jervis

5.Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name)
Plake

6.Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Orange Tito

7.NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers)
Harvey Fredrick

8.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Escape Chocolate

9.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Kirkwood Kissimmee

10.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Autumn Lilac

11.Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now)
Orange T-Shirt

12.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Cereal Willow

13.Movie star name (first pet, first street where you lived)
Inky Lake

Disappointed, Sure... Surprised - No.

Is anyone really surprised that yet another politician has cheated on his wife? When I heard about John Edwards this week, was I disappointed? Sure. Surprised? Certainly not... and I'm not sure why members of the press seem to be.

I know I'm going to sound cynical and out of line - but let's stop for a moment, and think about the typical politician skill set -and therefore, what conclusions we can draw about about personality.

1) Politicians need to be persuasive. They need to manipulate situations, words, and even history to a particular point of view.
2) Politicians are, in many cases, charismatic. The more appealing the politician (in terms of either looks, conversation, ability to connect), the better their chances of being elected
3) Politicians are typically surrounded by people a lot... and therefore must be able to adjust quickly to different situations.
4) Politicians must be able to inspire people to part with cash.
5) Politicians know that it's important for people to be seen with them.

In short, there's a lot of ego - and intelligence that surrounds how to control other people's minds... I hate to say this - because I have hope that it's not an across the board statement - but they're control freaks... Control freaks like to get what they want - and like their ego stroked...

So - the fact that egos get stroked outside of marital boundaries isn't surprising... So John Edwards? You may be a nice man, you may be a generous man, you may even be an intelligent man - I have to tell you, I have really low expectations of your personal integrity... And I know it's wrong of me - but you're a politician. And really? I completely expect this behavior from you. I don't even know that the press should make such a big deal about it - because reporters have a similar ego to yours...

Jack Johnson

With the help of my step-daughter, we took these photos last night at the Jack Johnson concert in Camden, NJ. The E-Center is a cool place, but we were waaaaay back in lawn seating, so we attempted to take photos through the lens of a pair of Olympus DPC I Binoculars.

Dog Stars

The other night, I was walking my dog in the 87th best place to Live in America. As we were passing by the town movie theater, I heard a shrill "AWWWWWWW..." This is a familiar squeal - familiar, because I have a cute dog. Believe me. At no time has anyone ever said a shrill "AWWWWWW!" about me. Seriously - even when I was a little kid with a bowl haircut, the best I got was "Wow Mr. Kellincatty's Daddy, your little boy is really calm for a boy!"

The shriek was for Ebby - who is actually cute as a button.

This woman approached - and in a rather excited and high pitched testimonial, exclaimed, "Your dog is so cute. Just beautiful. Commere, puppy (Eb backed off - he's very shy)! I have a dog that looks *JUST* like yours... Moriah, doesn't her dog look just like mine? I just can't believe it! You have to come and see my dog... Here. Let me give you my number...."

She pulls out her business card. As it turns out, I never met her, but I knew who she was. She's the local astrologer. For years, I passed her house on the main street through my town - wondering if an astrologer could be supported here... Now - here she is. She at least had the budget for a movie - so it must not be a bad living!!!!

Now I guess I have nothing against astrologers. I just don't subscribe to horoscopes of any kind. For more information, consult a post I wrote awhile ago. Seriously - I've just always considered it entertainment by really really perceptive people.... or just those who are really really good at guessing human nature.

Okay. So now I have the local astrologer's card... And I've been past her house... so I've always been kind of curious about what an astrologer's pad looks like... So I ponder my next move. Should I go and see for myself or forget about it?

The answer came when during the next week, I had the afternoon off. Reason 715 called me and asked if I wanted to hang out. I love hanging out with him - so I offered to make us some lunch. After grilled cheese and chat, I mentioned meeting the astrologer.

"I've got to admit," I began, "I'm really curious to see if her dog looks just like Ebby, aren't you?" Reason 715 said, "Yeah... And I wonder what her house looks like?"

It was like Reason 715 was reading my mind. "ME TOO!" I screeched. "Like - if there are beaded curtains?"

"And incense" Reason 715 added.

"Yeah. and if she wears scarves."

"Yeah. And if she has a crystal ball"

Pause.

I looked at Reason 715 very seriously. "Wanna go?"

"OK."

So I snapped Eb on his leash, and off we went, on a quest to find out the truth of an age old stereotype. In our minds, we summoned our best movie scenes - of the carnival booth fortune teller game in BIG, of the hag of a witch in Kevin Costner's Robin Hood... Of gypsies, travelling snake oil salesmen, and prophetic strangers...

"You know Kell. I'd never do this without you... "

"I know me either - Dave would never agree to go with me. It's only you and me who are weird enough to do this."

We arrived at the astrologer's door and knocked, with visions of Whoopi Goldberg circa "Ghost" still rounding our brains. The astrologer knocked. The second she saw Eb, she shrieked again, "Omigod! I'm so glad you came! I've been telling people about your dog! Hibuddy!!!!!! Eb backed away.

She invited us in. Then we wondered where her dog was.

"We came to meet your Jack Russell Terrier!"

As if reading our minds, down the stairs bounded the astrologer's dog - but she didn't look anything like Ebby. For one, she was half his height - and maybe just as wide. She was cute and curious, and immediately fell head over heels in love with Eb. Eb, on the other hand didn't know what to do about his latest predicament.

Me and Reason 715? Um... We should have been paying attention - but we were too busy looking for the beaded curtains...

That's right - there weren't any. None. In fact, there was nothing in the house that would indicate that an astrologer lived there... No star charts. No crystal balls, no draping silk with fringe... not even incense (unless you consider cigarette smoke incense). Nothing. What the house had was Pergo. Lots of it. And the biggest television set I've ever seen.

Meanwhile, down on the floor, the astrologer's dog tried to show him who's boss by mounting him. Poor Eb growled. It was the first time I've ever heard him growl.

The astrologer quickly corrected her dog, then turned to me to tell me how glad she was that I'd come. I told her I was glad to meet her dog. Then I asked "So you do astrology full time?"

"Yes. For several years. It's been great."

"Do animals have signs?"

"Oh yes. IN fact, I can tell that Eb has been around for a long time - he's an old, old soul, fully grounded to the earth. This dog has a lot of wisdom... I can tell from his feet."

Now, to be honest, Eb does have kind of gnarled looking feet. They don't match his cuteness at all.

We chatted for a little while longer, then told her we didn't want to interrupt - and just wanted to say hello...

She then invited us to a barbecue at her house the next day.

We didn't go - it rained... But I have to say - it was a good experience for me. I'm a little sad to let go of my astrologer stereotypes - but I guess it was in the cards.

Summer in the 70's

Till I get my act together and resume regular posting, I thought I'd share this photo with you. It fell out of my photo album the other day - It's me, circa 1978 - And why didn't anyone tell me my fly was down? Sheesh? Also in the photo: My sister Jill (top) - and to my left and right, Doreen and Margo.