Lost in Translation

I was late for church this morning... Where my father taught me that "on time" means 30 minutes early, I just couldn't get it together. I was hesitant to leave the house (because Ebby is under the weather this week - which means for the last 2 days, I'm a carpet cleaner... a frequent carpet cleaner), but I had to deliver some food (my church does a weekly dinner for local homeless folks - and it was my turn to cook.) All this to say, I was carrying a crock pot full of meatballs, a few bags of bread and dessert, so I needed a parking spot somewhere close to the building. Because I was late, every spot was filled... which left me driving around the block for awhile... Which made me even more late.

This is a long explanation for why I needed a good laugh this AM. My church is located downtown - within a few miles of several colleges, small towns, and 3 medium sized cities. This means we have a culturally diverse mix of people. In addition, our church occasionally runs a joint service with a Latino congregation. When this happens, the speaker uses a translator.

Enter Mickey.

Mickey is a sassy Latina who I love... Particularly when she translates. If the pastor walks to the right, Mickey walks to the right. If the pastor does a deep knee bend, Mickey does a deep knee bend. If the pastor raises an arm, so does Mickey. She does this to deliver the same energy as her English-speaking partner in oration. I've seen a lot of translators - but to be honest, none of them put the same chutzpah into their work. Mickey is not only appreciated by her Latino audience, but has always been entertaining to me.

Today, a guest speaker named Francois visited my church. I've heard this guy before - and he's great - but I've never seen him work with a translator. I could tell he was having a good time when the following happened. (forgive my mostly-forgotten Spanish)

Francois: (said something about direction)
Mickey: (Translated algo acerca de la dirección)
Francois: It's like a GPS
Mickey: Es como una GPS
Francois: You know?
Mickey: Sabes?
Francois: There's something I've always wondered about GPS'
Mickey: Hay algo Siempre me he preguntado acerca de GPS'
Francois: Why do they all have a woman's voice? They're never a man's voice!
Mickey:(in Perfect English) THAT'S BECAUSE MEN NEVER STOP AND ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!!!!!