Blinded By The Bike

One evening - at about 4:30PM, when I was 10, a screw came loose on the bicycle I was riding. It may not have been so bad had I not been speeding down a long hill. It may not have been so bad had I been wearing a helmet (kids, please wear your helmets!). The bike fell apart, and I hit the road. I hit pavement so quickly I don't remember much that happened after that. Of the parts I do recall, I remember only in short scenes. For example, I remember stumbling into the ER with my mother. I remember the nurse telling me to take a seat. I remember the doctor who happened to wander into the waiting room - and how he ushered me in immediately.

Other than that, I remember flashes of faces, needles, and ice packs. I sustained an orbital fracture - meaning I cracked my skull.(Please wear your helmet!) - The fracture chipped. The chip severed the optic nerve in my right eye. My world has been without depth perception ever since... (I like to tell people I have perfect 20 vision) (It's a half blind joke. Get it? 20? Not 20-20?) (Never mind)

Anyway, I've had a few painful surgeries since then - but mostly, I've developed a sense of humor about the whole thing - "Use your good eye, Kell!" (That's what my father would say - and continues to say to me whenever I can't find something). I still occasionally bump into things. Sometimes I come up short at stop signs (I think I replace brakes in my car more often than most people. The worst is when someone throws something at me to catch. I become "MAD CLAW" swinging wildly - trying to guess where the heck in the space/time continuum the object is. Most of the time I get hit, or I awkwardly bat it to the floor. It's so embarassing... There are also times when I make myself laugh out loud. I'll grab for an object sitting at my desk - and grab NOTHING. Seriously. It's pretty funny. I'm usually off by about 2 inches.

The best, however, was when I took a tennis class in college. I tried, and tried and tried to play tennis. I love the idea of tennis - the skill of tennis - the cute men of tennis... But alas, the coach finally told me, "Kelly, I don't think I can help you." No, I guess he can't. The other day - a co-worker handed me a pair of 3-D glasses - you know - the ones with the red on one side and the blue on the other? He wanted me to look at something he had found for a client. I was forced to tell him the story of why I can't see in 3-D. "Wow. You can't tell..." he said. I guess not.

Anyway, I'm not sharing this to garner pity. Quite the contrary. There are a few benefits of such a condition. Today, just before having the backs of my eyes photographed (which is something that I hadn't had done since I was 18 - and let me tell you - technology has come a long way from the days they had to pin my eyes open to flash photograph my poor eyes) - that the good thing about being half blind - is that during the photography - the flash through your iris only hurts on one side... Seriously, the digital photography has made the process a lot simpler - so simple, I could ask for a printout of my eye...

I know I'm probably breaking some HIPPA code - but would you like to see the back of my eye? It's pretty cool: