In Bed with No Fortune
I don’t know if this is just a bit of regional hoo-hah or not, but my friends and I always found it amusing to read our fortune cookie fortunes and conclude whatever advice has been uncased with “in bed.” So. For example, if my fortune read, “Tomorrow will be the best day you’ve ever had,” we would add “in bed...” And after that, we’d leave the restaurant and experience the best day we’ve ever had in bed. Easy.
Well, last week, I had the strangest day I’ve ever had - IN BED. I was having lunch with the president of my company. The actual building we were in was half restaurant, half mattress store.
We left the restaurant, and as we were passing the window of the mattress store, we started talking about the Tempurpedic mattresses in the window. I asked the president of my company if she’d ever tried a Tempurpedic mattress. For those who don’t know - they are pretty cool pieces of technology. When you lay down on one, they sort of just adjust to your body curves - very very comfortable. Kind of like when you adjust the sand on the beach to your body... nice.
Anyway, my coworker had not tried one - and wanted to. “Let’s go in,” she suggested. Fine. We both sat on separate Tempurpedic mattresses, right next to each other. We both said “ah.” at the same time. We both marveled at how a bed could be so comfy. Then the salesman spied us - and rest of this story is really embarassing - but I'll tell you anyway.
The salesman gave us a 20 minute dissertation on Tempurpedic. Their benefits, the fact that this mattress cured his mother’s ailing back issues.... The cost/benefit analysis, and the different types of Tempurpedic beds one might invest in, etc... We were both off of our respective mattresses at this time. The salesman then told us we had to experience the rest of the Tempurpedic system, and made us lay down, side by side - on the same queen sized bed... as he worked the controls that adjusted the head and feet. “Now you’ll notice that you feel no back strain whatsoever. (our feet went up - in bed)... “Now, you can push this button, and it automatically adjusts to the perfect position for watching television (in bed). Now, as I lower you both back to the flat position, you’ll notice how you feel as if your back stretched... (we flattened out - in bed)...
Then, we both flung a leg off the bed - we were just tooo ready to get up and get back to the office... “But wait. Get your legs back up there...” said the salesman. He then adjusted the mattress a couple more times, explaining that we would get 220-bucks worth of free Tempurpedic pillows with purchase of a queen sized bed - a bed that was beginning to feel like a shared boat ride...
He finally allowed us off the bed and we were able to leave the store... Somehow, I was a little disappointed that no one handed me a glassine bag with a fortune cookie in it. If they had done so, I believe my fortune may have read, “Don’t go into mattress stores, or you may end up with your boss...” Yeah. You get it.
I guess it’s fair to mention that my boss and I have yet to discuss this, joke about it, make any reference to it - or even return to the same restaurant.
Well, last week, I had the strangest day I’ve ever had - IN BED. I was having lunch with the president of my company. The actual building we were in was half restaurant, half mattress store.
We left the restaurant, and as we were passing the window of the mattress store, we started talking about the Tempurpedic mattresses in the window. I asked the president of my company if she’d ever tried a Tempurpedic mattress. For those who don’t know - they are pretty cool pieces of technology. When you lay down on one, they sort of just adjust to your body curves - very very comfortable. Kind of like when you adjust the sand on the beach to your body... nice.
Anyway, my coworker had not tried one - and wanted to. “Let’s go in,” she suggested. Fine. We both sat on separate Tempurpedic mattresses, right next to each other. We both said “ah.” at the same time. We both marveled at how a bed could be so comfy. Then the salesman spied us - and rest of this story is really embarassing - but I'll tell you anyway.
The salesman gave us a 20 minute dissertation on Tempurpedic. Their benefits, the fact that this mattress cured his mother’s ailing back issues.... The cost/benefit analysis, and the different types of Tempurpedic beds one might invest in, etc... We were both off of our respective mattresses at this time. The salesman then told us we had to experience the rest of the Tempurpedic system, and made us lay down, side by side - on the same queen sized bed... as he worked the controls that adjusted the head and feet. “Now you’ll notice that you feel no back strain whatsoever. (our feet went up - in bed)... “Now, you can push this button, and it automatically adjusts to the perfect position for watching television (in bed). Now, as I lower you both back to the flat position, you’ll notice how you feel as if your back stretched... (we flattened out - in bed)...
Then, we both flung a leg off the bed - we were just tooo ready to get up and get back to the office... “But wait. Get your legs back up there...” said the salesman. He then adjusted the mattress a couple more times, explaining that we would get 220-bucks worth of free Tempurpedic pillows with purchase of a queen sized bed - a bed that was beginning to feel like a shared boat ride...
He finally allowed us off the bed and we were able to leave the store... Somehow, I was a little disappointed that no one handed me a glassine bag with a fortune cookie in it. If they had done so, I believe my fortune may have read, “Don’t go into mattress stores, or you may end up with your boss...” Yeah. You get it.
I guess it’s fair to mention that my boss and I have yet to discuss this, joke about it, make any reference to it - or even return to the same restaurant.
posted by Kell @ 10:24 AM
1 Comments:
At 5:43 PM,
Trixie said…
At least she is a female...if you had a male for a boss this would have gotten out of hand even faster
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