Kelly In Catty

This blog is Kell's attempt to keep in touch with friends far away who complain that I don't e-mail nearly enough.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Supersonic, Idiotic, Brain-Affected, Disconnected Dummies

Note: I normally try hard not to use this blog as an excuse to be mean, but sometimes... The truth is harsh:

I had an odd flashback several years ago. I was visiting Pittsburgh, when I remembered this funny little song my sisters and I sang to each other. It went something like this: “Yooooou are a Supersonic, Idiotic, Brain-Affected, Disconnected DUHMEEEEEE.” The memory made me laugh so hard I called my sister. When she answered I said, “Hey, know what? You’re a Supersonic, Idiotic, Brain-Affected, Disconnected Dummy!” We were in stitches for a long time.

The great thing about the song is – it was more fun to sing than to actually MEAN… Which is very likely the reason why my parents didn’t object to the number of times it was sung in our house…

I never thought I’d actually THINK of someone in these terms – until yesterday.

My company is interviewing for several positions: Graphics artist, Sales staff, etc… I’m not really responsible for getting involved in the first round of interviews, but I happened to walk through the lobby while a bald man waited to be ushered into the conference room. “Kelly?!!” he asked. I looked at him. He got my name right, but the Mental Rolodex rendered no matches. I had no idea who this guy was.

He explained he was a studio hand at my former company. He named my former co-workers… I sort of vaguely remembered…. But would never have recognized him if he hadn’t recognized me. I didn’t want to embarrass him, so I took a wild stab in the dark. “Did you used to have hair?” He exclaimed, “Yeah!” “Great!” I said. “Nice to see you.”

I later confessed to my secretary that I didn’t really remember him. She glared. “What do you mean? You said that thing about his hair!” That was only logic. I told her that most people with a shaved head used to have hair. She was incredulous. “You’re a good liar.”

Five minutes later, my boss walked into my office. “So you know that guy?” I looked at my watch. “He’s gone? That was a quick interview.” My boss explained that as this gentleman played his reel, he mentioned, “Oh. Since Kelly is here, I guess I ought to tell you I was only the on-camera talent for this commercial.” My boss asked, “Not the producer?”

“No.”

She explained the commercial to me. As it turns out, it was a series of commercials I had written several years ago. They were PSA’s about healthy living. Knowledge of how I knew this guy suddenly returned. He was a studio worker who was kind of overweight. We needed someone who looked like a candidate for heart disease, so we asked him to be in the commercial…. He agreed. I didn’t’ personally produce this spot, but I DID write it…. And worked with the man who actually DID produce it. I guarantee you; it wasn’t the fat guy on screen!

I laughed and laughed. It’s kind of flattering to know that my work is gracing someone else’s demo reel. It’s sad too – but very, very funny.
Needless to say, my boss was so disgusted by this admission, she dismissed the applicant. Of all the supersonic, idiotic, brain-affected, disconnected dummies in the world, the one who stole material that I had worked on actually walked into my office, wanted to claim it as his own…. What a small world.

13 Comments:

  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger Trixie said…

    Just found your blog through our mutual interests in armadillos...you know that is begging for clarification on both sides...but I actually had a strangely similar interview event. I was out of town and my managers were interviewing several people for a vacancy. When I returned, they summarized the results as "One good, one ok, and one absolutely no way in hell." Obviously, this too begged a question...Tell me about the really BAD interview (but first let me get a Coke and make some popcorn).

    Would you believe that a lady who we fired not 8 months earlier for sending threatening messages to coworkers and her apartment complex manager sent her husband in for the interview ????

    She not only recommended that he apply but she was one of his references.

    Wait - there's more.

    His second and final reference was ANOTHER lady who separated under highly suspicious conditions.

    Wait - there's more.

    When asked what he could contribute to the project (yes, my managers some how missed the references on the resume and the oddly familiar last name and were actually giving him a REAL interviwew), the applicant said (and I quote here) "I bring the party !"

    Excuse me ?

    "I AM the party !"

    Nice. But we meant what work skills do you bring..

    "I entertain, you dig ?"

    Ah thanks but no. Definitely no. No..No..No.. NEXT !

    Such classic stories as ours belong in some HALL OF SHAME somewhere ! Thanks for sharing your story.

     
  • At 3:07 PM, Blogger John said…

    OMG! Where in the world did you hear that "Supersonic, Idiotic, Brain-Affected Disconnected".....This may be by some weird coincidence or maybe we knew eachother when we were younger but i used to use an extended version of that same line with my brothers and sisters! ours went lie this:(Now this may sound really stupid but remember we were little kids): "Supersonic, Idiotic, Ear-Infected Disconnected, Meatball Brains."...Now i know their are some slight discrepancies between our jingles...but you have to admit , its very suspicious that they are so close!....I was just bored working on an essay and remembered this little song me and my siblings used to sing so i typed it in google and to my amazement found someone with almost an identical STORY! WOW! Well enjoy it..maybe their is some secrecy behind this thing...=)

     
  • At 8:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I just googled "supersonic idiodic brain..." and this popped up. But the version I heard was "supersonic idiodic brain affected disconnected, piece of chicken, finger lickin' double decker dork!" I always LOVED that insult in grade school. It was the BEST!!!

     
  • At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Make Beats said…

    OK, ours went something like... "Dumb, dorky, disconnected, brain-infected, paramedic, psychotic, agnostic with brachial plexio damage that's intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity."

     
  • At 11:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    when we were kids our version went like this. Super Sonic, Idiotic,disconnected, brain affected doopy doapy dumb bell.Hope the spelling is correct. any way lol lol lol

     
  • At 6:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mine went... You are a super sonic, idiotic, brain infected, disconnected... bubble headed JERK!

     
  • At 9:57 PM, Blogger Destiny Pipkin said…

    I was in the 3rd grade and this boy named Tony Boster told me a rhyme similar to yours but it wasn't a song it went like this : Super sonic idiotic brain affected disconnected booger pickin chicken lickin ding dong dummy. i googled it because i wondered if somebody else knew it. i have no idea where it derived from

     
  • At 9:18 AM, Blogger Kim said…

    We grew up in the 60s/70s in Alexandria Virginia. Ours too was, "You are a supersonic, disconnected, brain-affected, doopy doppy dumbbell". Where DID this BEGIN? Curious.

     
  • At 2:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I heard this in school also but mine isn't a song.... It goes, supersonic idiotic. Brain infected, disconnected, butt lickin,piece of chicken, idiotic jerk.

     
  • At 4:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    WOW! I also went to school in Alexandria, Virginia in the 60's and early 70's. The version I remember was "Supersonic ear-connected, brain affected swishy swashy ding dong."

     
  • At 5:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Supersonic, idiotic, brain infected, disconnected, butt kickin', nose pickin' piece o' chicken" was how I always heard it.

     
  • At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hmm... here it is almost 11 years later and I read the word "supersonic" in a science article and my mind automatically travels back in time to when we used to say something like "you're a supersonic, idiot, brain-affected, disconnected ..." so of course I had to Google it... and your blog link comes up. Just thought I'd share... LOL. Oh, and this is the first time I've ever posted on a blog. lol.

     
  • At 4:24 AM, Blogger This and That said…

    We also used this a lot in my house....this is where we got it from. https://www.facebook.com/TheTabOfficial/videos/634080200073026/

     

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