The Half Wit

My band plays a couple gigs per year for our friend, Ron. Now, I don't know much about runners. In fact, I used to tell people that I only run when I'm chased... but I think Ron, perhaps above all other people I've known, has made running look attractive. He runs (no pun intended)amusing races with creative names like The Half Wit (It's a half-marathon), The Chilly Cheeks (Think Derriere), the Ugly Mudder (A February extravaganza), and the like. His courses are always a challenge. We've seen runners come back from these races with scrapes, muddy clothes, even bloody nipples (just the men - it was quite a shock to me the first time some guy walked in with two red dribs on the front of their running gear - to which I say COTTON!!!!! Not NYLON!!!!! Wear Cotton - and this wouldn't happen... Also, maybe bandaids - and maybe a man's sports bra is in order... We could give it a cool name like the nip-guard) During all this, my band plays for these crazed runners and their supportive families while they cross the finish line.
Where I can't honestly ever picture myself running these half-marathons, I've gotta say that at the very least, Ron makes them fun. Perhaps the most curious thing to me - is that Ron holds these races at this German Club named Leiderkranz. It's GERMAN - it could be the most German thing next to Germany, BMW, and Volkswagen... This place is *really* German - right down to the portraits of WWI German and Prussian Generals on the walls. The yard outside is like the Black Forest - complete with your 10 AM Spaten - even the dogs are German: Ron even administers funny contests within the race... This guy drank just under 30 beers in the last mile (I suppose this makes him the best half-wit of all!): . Ironically, he won a case of beer On to the awards. The half wit trophy is a half-assed horse's patooey. Very funny. Not very German, but Ich werde dennoch unterhalten!!! (I'm amused nonetheless). My bass player's wife won in her category - so she got this little jewel to hang on her wall (perhaps next to a little painting of a German Shepherd... )

All I can say is Was ist das?