Kelly In Catty

This blog is Kell's attempt to keep in touch with friends far away who complain that I don't e-mail nearly enough.

Monday, December 31, 2007


Dave gave me a GPS for Christmas. It's really actually very cool. If I go to the GPS' website, I can download Mr. T - so he can tell me I'd be a fool not to go left in 500 feet. I can also download Gary Busey... Who tells me that if I get bored, I should honk at geese. Thanks, Gary Busey.

Ok. So I don't know too much about GPS systems - except that two of my co-workers have one. They say they're not actually great for directions- but are life savers for when you get lost and need to get back to a route you recognize. Their story: Both went to New England (from PA) in separate cars. Both left New England at the same time. One followed MapQuest directions home. The other decided to use the GPS... The one using MapQuest got home 2.5 hours earler than the other - because the latter's GPS guided the car through Brooklyn during rush hour.

Let that be a lesson to you.

Ok. So I haven't actually gone anywhere lately where I've needed the service of a GPS, but I've been playing with it - and some funny things have happened. First, I programmed it to guide me to work. Now, of course, I've been at my job for several years, so I know how to get there quickly and painlessly. The GPS took me a different route - and a pretty crazy one at that... through center city... turning, twisting, sauntering through the city as if I had all the time in the world... It's not even a route I like - but the GPS was very polite about the whole thing - "Turn right in 500 yards. Then. Make the second left." It did reach it's intended destination... but that's not the weird thing about it.

For some reason, because it's hooked up to a satellite, and because it's speaking in a pleasant voice - I feel like it knows other things - things besides routes, right turns, and where Le Cirq is located... I feel like it's watching me. I feel like it's someday going to tell me that I'm not wearing my seatbelt - or I should have used my turn signal... Or that I shouldn't be on the cell unless I pull over... Or I should be on my cell calling my mother...

It's a strange thing I do - anthropomorphizing global positioning systems... But seriously - if it knows there's 500 yards between where I am and the exit I need to take off of route 78, why wouldn't it know other things?

I am so paranoid right now...


Happy New Year Everyone! And remember! You're never alone - because some GPS can always find you - and help you find a circuitous route home.


  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger Trixie said…

    HA. You have the MR T voice! HA. This is killing me. At least my friend (who completely is so lame that she can't get from Point A to B without her GPS even if those points are in the same neighborhood that she lives in) uses the sexy Aussie voice and not some overhulked 1980s TV star. HA. Find the sexy Aussie voice and let HIM tell you what to do next!!


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