Kelly In Catty

This blog is Kell's attempt to keep in touch with friends far away who complain that I don't e-mail nearly enough.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

A Grief Observed

I know I've been kind of silent about the time after my nephew, Jay died in December. It's been difficult - sometimes a combination of weepy tears and laughter... many times, I just ache - or suddenly feel overcome by a wave of missing him...

But nothing really prepared me for a story my sister, Jill, (Jay's mom) told me the other day.

My eldest nephew, Ian, got inexplicably dizzy the other day. Jill decided to take him to the doctor. Not wanting to miss anything, the Doc ordered an EKG.

My sister watched as they attached all the diodes to my nephew. They determined Ian's problem was not his heart - But soon noticed Jill, who was starring in horror at the image of Ian's beating heart on the monitor.

Previously, Jill hated all things medical. Until Jason came along, she shied away from needles, blood, and of course, any imaging of the innards... After Jason, it was a different story. She watched all sorts of monitors, machines, and procedures with rapt attention. It's just that Jill had only ever seen Jason's malfunctioning heart move - where the valves barely opened, and the heart struggled with every beat to pump oxygen and blood.

She never realized until she watched Ian's healthy heart - just how sick Jason was - nor what a healthy heart was supposed to do.

She burst into tears (as did I when she told me the story) and had to leave the room...

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  • At 9:03 PM, Blogger sass said…

    it's nice to hear you talking about your nephew. i was just thinking about him the other day, oddly enough...

    i just had dinner with my old best friend from high school who told me about her mom who just found out she has advanced lung cancer. i got back to my hotel and realized that i had said all the "wrong" things... i emailed her the next day and told her that i was in shock and sorry. she told me not to be silly - that it was really helpful for her just to talk.

  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger Sarabeth said…

    You know that I am at a loss for words on this one. That's why it has taken me so long to comment.

    See, my mother's doctor made me angry the other day. He told her that my father could have been saved if he had come into the doctor's office earlier. What good did that do her?


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