The Husband Score

Don’t think badly of me – I was trying to cheer my sister up. She was angry with my brother-in-law for saying he was going to help clean, but then never actually cleaning. In fact, she nearly blew a fuse after he left the house the other day. She walked into the bathroom to find a sink full of whisker shards… My brother-in-law didn’t even rinse the sink. So I told her that perhaps a quiz for my brother-in-law was in order:

1) What do you say when asked to do something?
A - Honey, I can get that done by (time)
B - Honey, I'm not interested in doing that
C- No way, b****
D - I'll do it right away

2) What will the consequences be if you don't get the job done?
A - Sleeping alone
B - Whipping and scourging
C - Nothing - There is never consequence
D - A or C, depending on Honey's mood.

3) Why wouldn't you do what you say you're going to do?
A - I'm not to be trusted
B - I'm unreliable
C- I can't help it - but my suckatude is a horrible force that I can't reckon with
D - I don't care what my place looks like, or what my wife thinks of me

4) What's it going to take for you to become a man of your word?
A - Armageddon
B - I yam who I yam
C - I AM a man of my word - just selective words
D - Get off my back, b****!

5) How important is it to you that your wife trusts you?
A - What? Who?
B - She knows I come through when it's imperative that I do so
C - To be honest, I just say these things to placate her for the moment
D - Hey, B****! Bring me a cheap beer!

6) What are the pillars of every successful relationship?
A - Silence; only speak when spoken to
B - Faith, hope and love
C - Honesty, dependability and Moral Fortitude
D - B and C

7) So what's the real issue?
A - I wish to be a kept man
B - I know if I don't do it, you will
C - I've always been a kept man, and today is no different
D - Just flush out the sink yourself, b****!

8) What's the worst consequence you can think of?
A - being one of those people with barely a path between the bedroom and the bathroom
B - Caught with a messy house and unexpected visitors
C - Realizing material possessions are more important than my relationship
D - You're really selfish to ask me this question, b****!

9) What if your wife believes the tale and not the teller?
A - Then I guess I'm a liar
B - Then I guess she'd better find a new man
C - I said it, I believe it, and that settles it.
D - A woman's place is in the kitchen, b****!

I only wrote the quiz. I didn't really want to analyze it.