Kelly In Catty

This blog is Kell's attempt to keep in touch with friends far away who complain that I don't e-mail nearly enough.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

A Girl Has Needs

Trixie inspired the following post... She typed "Trixie Needs" into Google. I typed "Kelly Needs," and here's what I got. Some of 'em make me giggle.

KELLY NEEDS HER BROTHER BACKSTAGE

Kelly Needs Modesty

With a 2nd place for Andy, Kelly needs a 3rd or better.

KELLY NEEDS HELP!

Kelly needs to go the distance at Augusta

i need a band like r kelly needs a 12 year old to pee on!

To really thrive, Kelly needs to be part of a loving, committed "marriage.

Kelly needs a Friction Massage

Kelly needs a helping hand

Kelly needs all the expert help she can get in reversing recent erosions ...

(And BOY, do I ever!)

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2 Comments:

  • At 4:14 PM, Blogger Trixie said…

    Friction massage ?! Do tell..Do Tell..

    Your results were no where as theme oriented as Rabbitch or mine. You had some variety !

     
  • At 12:02 PM, Blogger Audrey said…

    "Audrey needs to concentrate on getting better, not on getting laid" (Kill Me Now)

    Worthington College Without Classes. Audrey packs a bag and whines that she doesn't want to go to rehab. Joey retorts that she doesn't care: Audrey has a problem, and she has to go dry out. "I've read the brochures and it doesn't look like fun," Audrey says. Yeah, that's why it's called "rehab" and not "vacation," Audrey. Joey turns and gives her a dirty look, asking if Audrey remembers when Joey found her unconscious. Audrey makes a "duh" face and reminds Joey that she couldn't have, being unconscious. "The doctor said you could have died," Joey tells her. Audrey shrugs that she thinks the doctor was just being "overdramatic," and points out that kids get alcohol poisoning all the time. Well, kids die from it now and then, too, missy. And, with that, I have officially become my mother. Not that I'm all anti-drinking (as my antics this past New Year's Eve surely prove), but one of my college friends was an alcoholic -- a real alcoholic, not just a wild student who liked to tie one on every now and then -- and it was no fun. She used to drive drunk, the whole bit. It was a very bad scene. Anyway. Joey rolls her eyes and repeats that Audrey needs help. And she needs to get surrounded by people she loves: her parents. Audrey makes a face, and sarcastically thanks Joey for calling Ma and Pa Liddell. "That was a fun conversation," she snaps. Joey says nothing, but simply holds up a red sweater and asks if Audrey wants to bring it with her. Audrey snits that it "doesn't accentuate the rack enough." Joey sighs that Audrey needs to concentrate on getting better, not getting laid. Audrey opines that she ought to be able to do both. "What if Ben Affleck is there? He's the sexiest man alive, you know?" she says. Joey just chuckles, instead of pointing out that Ben Affleck wears a rug.

     

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