Costumed Mascots, Parties, and Weddings

Friday Night’s fabulous Philadelphia party celebrated our friend Danny’s 40th Birthday. The event was held on the 50th floor at the Top of the Tower – and the view was beyond belief (photos coming soon)! I think Danny was shocked, shocked, shocked. The food was perfect, the band was absolutely the best cover band I’ve ever heard – and the guests were just happy to be there.

Only one little low point: Everyone was surprised when a woman arrived, wearing a natty and off-brand Big Bird costume. She sang, made bad jokes, and did the Chicken Dance… much to the mortification of my friend Laurin (who threw the party)… “Kelly, please delete all the chicken pictures.” Thankfully, the spectacle lasted a short few minutes.

I feel obligated to present “Kell’s Guidelines for Costumed Mascots.”

1) As a general rule, costumed mascots should only make appearances if the costume is high-end, good looking, and well maintained…

2) Content-wise, costumed mascots should only appear if the material is appropriate for all ages present (no stripping gorillas around the kiddies!).

3) Over all, if a costumed mascot is required for some reason that fits into someone’s warped sense of humor – or someone’s patriotic duty to feed into someone’s economy, limit your costumed mascot appearance to the delivery of singing telegrams at house parties, or maybe, if appropriate and not too illicit, at an office birthday lunch. Other appropriate events include grand openings, children’s birthday parties, and of course, civic events like fairs… (you can always send a singing phonegram instead. Much classier)

4) If the event is a wedding reception, or party at the Top of the Tower, don’t hire the mascot!

5) When the costume is natty, fragmented, incomplete, smelly, torn, cracked, or dirty, it should be cleaned, repaired or replaced.

6) Sporting events, kids restaurants, Toy Fair, and theme parks should be the supreme examples of appropriate mascot use. The costumes are cool – the actors inside them are energetic and entertaining, they are professional – and don’t purport to be anything other than the character… no strippers, no would-be singers, blah blah blah.

Take Saturday’s wedding as an example of the appropriate (if a little eccentric), use of a character… Spiderman. The great thing was – no one came in costume as Spiderman, yet he left an indelible mark on the proceedings – Because it wasn’t overdone, I’m okay with it… Note, this kind of stuff isn’t for everyone, but I think weddings should be a reflection of the couples’ personality – and this fit.

As I said, the wedding was a little unusual. Before I start – know that the bride has been reading Spiderman comics for 20 years. She’s seen the TV shows and the movies. She recognizes that the movies did not represent Willem Dafoe’s best work…

But I digress. The wedding was held at a summer camp. The outdoorsy couple “zoomed” into their married life by flying down a 40’ zip line over a lake (photo to follow). The bride had her gown cut in two pieces so she could remove the skirt to fly down the zip line. In lieu of the skirt, she sported a pair of baggy Spiderman shorts. The groom zipped down the line shortly afterwards. I have to hand it to him. He’s allegedly afraid of heights, so good for him. Way to support the wife.

The flight marked Spidey’s third mention at the wedding. The groom’s vows included a sentence something like, “And I’ve even accepted Spiderman.” As a joke to the bride and groom, the best man handed the groom a spider ring instead of the traditional wedding band. (The real gold band appeared two seconds later…)

Later, when the newlyweds were introduced, they entered to the ‘60’s TV theme, “Spiderman, Spiderman – Does whatever a spider can…” The bride even re-worked the lyrics to the same theme song to fit the wedding. It was silly – but fun.

I guess for me, the jury’s out on theme weddings – This one certainly didn’t go over the top (which I appreciate) by hiring a natty-stocking clad superhero… Think about it. It could have been really ugly.

Mascots belong on the sidelines of basketball courts, baseball diamonds, and football fields. They belong at Disney, Chuck E. Cheeses, and costume parties. I’m not against them – but overall, if the dress code is semi-formal, there’s no real place for stripping gorillas or chicken-clad lounge singers.