Hey, You're From Pennsylvania, Aren't You?

About a year ago, I was staying at a New York City hotel. I needed some cash, so I asked the concierge for a MAC machine.

"You're from Pennsylvania, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I replied. "How'd you know?"

"Cause you asked for a MAC machine. No one has MAC machines except Pennsylvania. The rest of the known Universe has ATM's."

"Really?" I had no idea. Apparently, Money Access Centers were purely a Pennsylvania-run company. We're an unusual state... All of our liquor stores, for example, are still run by the state Government... So why WOULDN'T we have our own MAC's? And why not have ATM's? (Perhaps because Automatic Teller Machines make my nephew, TJ wonder what exactly it is that someone has to automatically tell someone...)

Okay - all this to say nothing of what I wanted to write about today.

I have trouble with the ATM's associated with my bank. Perhaps they assigned me pin numbers I can't remember (which is weird, considering the way my brain works - for some reason, I can still tell you my security access code for my college workplace... the zip code to the town I grew up in... and my first boss' home telephone number) Perhaps it's because my bank branches tend to build their ATM's with their screens facing the setting sun - so using them in the afternoons is an exercise in guess work. Perhaps it's the braille keypads on the ATM's (with no speakers). Perhaps it's the fact that the ATM's associated with my branch never seem to work when I get to them...

I drive Dave crazy sometimes. Not to my credit, I've been with him on several occasions when one or more of the above issues have kept me from depositing or withdrawling the cash I needed to deposit or withdrawl. I have lost my temper in front of many of these machines (I'm bad that way - It's kind of embarassing thinking that I'm being mocked when they show video of my tantrums at the Branch's annual Holiday party. "Oh, there she goes again...")

Anyway, today, while riding with Dave, I needed to deposit. I asked him, not thinking about getting angry, to stop at my bank.

"Kelly, how bout if you drop me off, then take my car back to the bank? - or we do it another time."

Now I'm really embarassed... (There are days where I am undeniably calmer than the given situation should make me... That is rarely the case when it comes to me and computers, but really, a lot of people think I'm very calm..)

"C'mon. Gimme a shot. I'm better now."

"Kelly, if you lose your temper, it'll ruin my day."

"I need a shot!"

"I'm telling you, I'm not ....."

"Just give me a shot. I'm cool as a cucumber." (I'm positive that I've never actually said 'cool as a cucumber' before in my life...)

Dave reluctantly hit the turn signal, "Ok..."

"I need a shot - that's all."

So we pull up to the machine, and sure enough, like clock work - the machine won't even accept my card - It won't even push through the slot. (It wasn't the card - it was the machine. Down for maintenance - again... Infuriating, yet, I am as serene as my vegetable counterpart.)

"Okay, let's go"

"Wow, Kell," said Dave, "You did a lot better than you ever did before."

I simply starred down the barrel of the security camera and said, "You guys should fix this MAC machine. It never works."

I just said that so when I'm in New Jersey or Delaware sometime, and a stranger walkes up to me and says, "I work at your bank. I've seen you on video. You're from Pennsylvania, aren't you?" I can say that at least, for once, I was calm.

Where I can't really fathom life without my ATM card - I must say that for the most part, technology just makes my life harder.