Lessons from Sobriety, or "Don't Answer the Cell in The Car"

I got pulled over the other day. Two very respectable policemen thought I'd been drinking...

The evening started out well enough. My band played a great gig - I'd had a drink early in the evening - sometime around seven PM... I usually don't like to drink a ton while I'm performing. I tend to sing badly (and do just about everything badly) if I have too much, so It was water up until 11:30 or midnight, when the band left the venue.

I think Scott left first. I was about five minutes behind him, which meant Fran and Dave were still jabbering in the parking lot. About a half mile down the road, my phone rang. It was Dave - who wanted to know why I left so soon - and how far I was down the road. When I reached for the phone, I accidentally drove over the yellow line. That's why the cops stopped me.

Honest.

They talked to me for a little while - when they didn't smell anything or find my speech particularly slurred, they asked me to get out of the car. They asked where I'd been, where I was going, and what I was doing. They asked a really good question in wanting to know the brown liquid was in the V8 Bottle.

"It's iced tea," I told them. "You're welcomed to take it and test it."

"That won't be necessary, ma'am." (I don't feel like a Ma'am...) They then asked if I knew I'd driven over the yellow line. I assured them I hadn't - but I'd ansered my phone.

What was necessary, however, was for me to walk the line, stand on one foot, do that thing where you touch your nose with alternating left and right hands -

Of course, during this time, Dave drove by, petrified. He circled back and passed me three times before the cops were through coreographing things for me to do... Fran also drove by - but didn't realize it was me. I didn't realize he didn't know it was me, and was mortified.

"Ma'am, you're free to go, Don't answer your cell phone in the car!"

"Good advice, sir." I answered. They were pretty nice. Most of my experience with policemen have been not nearly as pleasant. In fact, I was feeling pretty darn good about the whole thing.

Until my phone rang again. I looked to make sure the nice policemen had taken a different route, then answered Dave's second call.

"I was so worried! You could lose your license!"

I calmed him down and got off the phone - The cops were right - I really shouldn't talk on the phone while driving... It's not really safe... But, rebel that I am (coff coff), I admit I still find drive time the most convenient time to return phone calls.

I guess if there are lines to be crossed in life - I'm just going to have to be more careful - and make sure the one I'm crossing isn't yellow.