What I Am In My Head

Among other things, like calm, cool, and collected, in my head, I am a master chef. The truth is, I really like cooking - I just don't have time to do it. However, because my vegetarian sister has requested more vegetable matter at the family Christmas table, I have delved into my vat of unused collectibles - my cookbooks.

I have a lot of them. The one I use a lot is called "The Zondervan Family Cookbook." My mom gave it to me years ago. I even adopted her practice of using a cookbook as a notebook. When I like a recipe, I label it "Good," or give it a big orange star. If the recipe yields horrifying results, I just cross it out - or write "ew" in the margins. It's handy, because I don't cook enough to remember...

Anyway, I'm sharing the recipe I'm making for my vegged-out sis:

Squash & Apple Bake

2 lbs butternut or buttercup squash (I've never seen a buttercup squash, but have no doubt Wegmans will know what I need)
1/2 c. Brown sugar
1/4 c. butter or margerine, melted
1T. Flour
1t. salt
1/2 t. mace or cinnamon (I only know one kind of mace - so I guess it's cinnamon!)
2 baking apples, peeled, cored, and cut into 1/2" slices

Cut each squash in half. Remove seeds, fibers, and peel. Cut into 1/2" slices. Arrange squash in ungreased 11.5" x 7.5" baking dish. Arrange apple slices on top of squash. Mix brown sugar, melted butter, salt and cinnamon (I'm not using mace) and sprinkle over apples and squash. Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes or until squash is tender.

I just need y'all to know that there are no notes on this recipe, so I'm not guaranteeing it's success. I just know that my sister will eat it, my nephew Ian won't - but TJ might because it's got sugar in it.

I thought I'd give you some recipes from other wacky cookbooks in my nearly unused collection:

Years ago, I did video for a prosthodontist. He did dental implants. His wife, the enterprising woman she was, created a cookbook for various stages of implant recovery. She even signed my cookbook... Where I'm tempted to share her many day after surgery recipes, like the Tuna Shake (no I've never made one), Here's my favorite recipe from her:

Banana Hotcakes

1.25 c. unbleached flour
2T sugar
2t. baking powder
1/4 t. salt
1/8 t. nutmeg
3/4 c skim milk
1 c. (roughly 3 medium) mashed bananas
2 T. oil
2t. Lemon juice
1t vanilla
2 egg whites

spray skillet or griddle with nonstick cooking spray and heat to 375 degrees. Lightly spoon flour into measuring cup. Level off. In large bowl, combine flour, sugar baking powder, salt and nutmeg. mix well.

Add remaining ingredients - stir just until dry ingredients are moistened.

For each pancake, pour 1/4 c. batter onto skillet. Trun when edges look cooked and bubbles begin to break on surface.

NOTE: I admit I use Bisquick for the pancake batter and just add the spices. I will tell you these pancakes are great with a little applesauce on the side.

Here's a recipe from my totally unused, yet read "Taste of the Outer Banks" cookbook:

Tomato Grunt (Yes, you get this recipe because I like the name)

3 large fresh summer tomatoes peeled, cored, and cut into chunks. You can also sub a 28 oz can of tomatoes cut up.
4 cold biscuits or stale slices of bread torn into pieces
1c brown sugar
1 stick butter, cut into chunks

Mix all ingredients together and pour into a greased casserole. Bake in a moderate oven until bubbly and light brown on top, about 45 minutes.

NOTE: This seems like it's not only a cool name for tomatoes, but a colorful holiday dish. I might sub this instead of the squash apple thing.

I'll also recommend the coolest cookbook I've never used: "Movie Menus" - a book that takes a film genre and creates a menu for a party. I swear I'm going to do it one day. Here's a sample. If you want a recipe, let me know.

If you're showing, for example, a war movie (cause Dave loves war movies. His daughter once noted, "Dad, your favorite movie would be 'Banjos of WWII.")

You might make these:

Coming Attractions: Victory Garden Salad
WWI Potato Soup

Feature Presentation: Cheese rarebit
Creamy Shredded beef with Almonds
Tuna a la King
Peanut and Cheese Macaroni
Woolworth Special

Closing Credits: Maple Glazed Angel Food Cake
Peppermint Devil's food Squares
Jam Triangles

So get cooking! If you make any of these, let me know!