Third's A Crowd
Before I get too deep into this - I must say that my furnace died two days ago - it's really cold in my house - so I'm going to make this quick, then get out of here! (Landlord said he's working on the problem... Let's take a vote - Do I pay the entire month's rent for a place it's been too cold to sleep in? Talk to me!) At any rate, this has to be quick - because my fingers are too cold to type!
Anyway, the post today is about THIRDS... because I have allegedly won Third Prize in Something called the "International Library Of Poetry's Amateur poet contest..." or some such thing. Today, I received a box with a plastic-encased brass coin that says "Winner" on it... The letter reads, "Congratulations! Out of literally thousands of entrants, you have been awarded Third Prize in the International Who's Who in Poetry Competition! Enclosed, you will find your prize, a beautifully engraved (it's actually embossed... but what's the difference between an "innie" and an "outie" anyway?) bronze Award Medallion and display case, as well as a list of all the award winners..." blah, blah blah, signed Christopher Vorce, Editor...
I look at the next sheet - and it's true. In black and white, my name is listed as a third prize winner... Along with 79 other thirdie-somethings.... (FYI, I'm joined on the podium by 24 Second-place winners and Iris Gilly Warren of New York City, who captured the single Gold...)
Ok. I have to tell you that at least I DID enter the contest... but regretted it immediately - If I recall properly, I answered an unsolicited e-mail... After I was sent countless letters and e-mails, telling me I was going to be put into the "Who's Who in Poetry book (complete with Poet Biography), Invited to the Poetry Convention (a mere 500$ for the priviledge... I was told I could only win the contest-and receive the handsome plaque - if I attended...), and sent more than one order forms for the book ($49.95) and extra plaques in the event I could not attend the Convention...
I also have to tell you that my poem was a haiku - written via e-mail - the same day the poetry contest announcement arrived... I'm better than I thought I was!
See what happens when you read your junk e-mails? Let this be a lesson to you! Although, on the off chance you're somehow proud of me and the 79 other thirds, I'd be happy to post the poem... If I can only remember what I wrote.
Anyway, the post today is about THIRDS... because I have allegedly won Third Prize in Something called the "International Library Of Poetry's Amateur poet contest..." or some such thing. Today, I received a box with a plastic-encased brass coin that says "Winner" on it... The letter reads, "Congratulations! Out of literally thousands of entrants, you have been awarded Third Prize in the International Who's Who in Poetry Competition! Enclosed, you will find your prize, a beautifully engraved (it's actually embossed... but what's the difference between an "innie" and an "outie" anyway?) bronze Award Medallion and display case, as well as a list of all the award winners..." blah, blah blah, signed Christopher Vorce, Editor...
I look at the next sheet - and it's true. In black and white, my name is listed as a third prize winner... Along with 79 other thirdie-somethings.... (FYI, I'm joined on the podium by 24 Second-place winners and Iris Gilly Warren of New York City, who captured the single Gold...)
Ok. I have to tell you that at least I DID enter the contest... but regretted it immediately - If I recall properly, I answered an unsolicited e-mail... After I was sent countless letters and e-mails, telling me I was going to be put into the "Who's Who in Poetry book (complete with Poet Biography), Invited to the Poetry Convention (a mere 500$ for the priviledge... I was told I could only win the contest-and receive the handsome plaque - if I attended...), and sent more than one order forms for the book ($49.95) and extra plaques in the event I could not attend the Convention...
I also have to tell you that my poem was a haiku - written via e-mail - the same day the poetry contest announcement arrived... I'm better than I thought I was!
See what happens when you read your junk e-mails? Let this be a lesson to you! Although, on the off chance you're somehow proud of me and the 79 other thirds, I'd be happy to post the poem... If I can only remember what I wrote.
posted by Kell @ 5:45 PM
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